No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
