honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
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