the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
