is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
