we have officially lost it.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
