Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
