why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
