Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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