Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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