So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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