This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
