I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
