Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
