In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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