Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(323): View more from California

We should be called the Road Head Warriors

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(561): View more from Florida

i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed

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(760): View more from California

i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous

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(847): View more from Illinois

so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.

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(650): View more from California

he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car

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(785): View more from Kansas

Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".

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(314): View more from Missouri

How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?

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(980): View more from North Carolina

I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?

(704): View more from North Carolina

Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.

(980): View more from North Carolina

He absolutely would.

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