Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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