Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
