I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
All the doctor said was why
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
