I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
