Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
