I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
