He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
