I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
