WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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