Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
