I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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