And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
