Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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