"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
