Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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