I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize