i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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