I wish my penis had an off switch
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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