he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol