Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey