Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml. http://tfl.nu/k21j
  Replies (21) Good night (847) Bad night (3810)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (765): So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head? http://tfl.nu/senf
  Replies (31) Good night (7540) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (609): That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets http://tfl.nu/cuwg
  Replies (18) Good night (2430) Bad night (823)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes http://tfl.nu/an5y
  Replies (4) Good night (3524) Bad night (685)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless. http://tfl.nu/abxi
  Replies (11) Good night (4587) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (239): In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now. http://tfl.nu/wa2b
  Replies (32) Good night (9277) Bad night (1655)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?' http://tfl.nu/rnao
  Replies (12) Good night (3823) Bad night (1032)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar. http://tfl.nu/8auj
  Replies (12) Good night (2670) Bad night (837)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'. http://tfl.nu/4pwa
  Replies (10) Good night (5422) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass. http://tfl.nu/8h53
  Replies (2) Good night (919) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex... http://tfl.nu/wlmu
  Replies (12) Good night (2742) Bad night (481)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (204): Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian http://tfl.nu/540t
  Replies (8) Good night (361) Bad night (1542)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex http://tfl.nu/6b6a
  Replies (3) Good night (943) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.

  (1-310): View more from California

  That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing. (1-310): That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens. http://tfl.nu/xmxh
  Replies (14) Good night (2076) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy. http://tfl.nu/nimg
  Replies (2) Good night (745) Bad night (236)

Randomize