i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me