Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.

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  (610): C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues. http://tfl.nu/dcql
  Replies (5) Good night (1585) Bad night (630)
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  (619): View more from California

  I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.

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  (619): I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe. http://tfl.nu/jto0
  Replies (24) Good night (4452) Bad night (788)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her

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  (414): i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her http://tfl.nu/iw7s
  Replies (13) Good night (1460) Bad night (4222)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter

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  (425): In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter http://tfl.nu/la90
  Replies (5) Good night (3120) Bad night (1170)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong

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  (704): we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong http://tfl.nu/wuam
  Replies (3) Good night (2507) Bad night (1168)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....

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  (817): Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system.... http://tfl.nu/zett
  Replies (9) Good night (2893) Bad night (904)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.

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  (309): Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls. http://tfl.nu/n0fo
  Replies (7) Good night (2515) Bad night (1134)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger

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  (+61): The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger http://tfl.nu/x8sq
  Replies (4) Good night (628) Bad night (1193)
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.

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  (857): Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works. http://tfl.nu/hgbu
  Replies (5) Good night (2321) Bad night (1083)
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  (+58): View more from

  James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.

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  (+58): James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes. http://tfl.nu/8mur
  Replies (14) Good night (1039) Bad night (486)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...

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  (508): You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes... http://tfl.nu/do6f
  Replies (1) Good night (906) Bad night (481)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"

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  (469): words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you" http://tfl.nu/m5ga
  Replies (3) Good night (402) Bad night (562)
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  (315): View more from New York

  she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war

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  (315): she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war http://tfl.nu/uvwx
  Replies (4) Good night (483) Bad night (588)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.

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  (506): You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get. http://tfl.nu/dc03
  Replies (1) Good night (478) Bad night (439)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.

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  (757): If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible. http://tfl.nu/lbns
  Replies (2) Good night (472) Bad night (137)

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