God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Your tits are I can't wait for
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
