It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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