If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
