New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
