Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
