I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
