didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
