what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
