I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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