so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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