tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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