I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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