haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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