Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
