He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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