She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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