Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
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