I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
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