Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
