Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
