I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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