dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
