i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
